your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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