Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
