I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
