Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
