You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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