i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
