Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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