I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
