If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
