I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
