We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
