If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
