i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He better not be in your backpack
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
