kristin has been a bad kristin
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
foreskin is a definite game changer
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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