...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
