You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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