I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
