when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
