Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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