Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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