I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
