i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
