with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
