accomplished twins. life is a go
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
