He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
