What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
