I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
