So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
