So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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