oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize