Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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