Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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