My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
