I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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