the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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