Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
