I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
