Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize