I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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