What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
