You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
