I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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