How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
