No stitches, just platelets and will power
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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