READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
His hands were made for my vagina.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
