So drunk, too bad you don't want this
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
