Pappa wants mamma naked
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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