So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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