i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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