We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
