I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
