I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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