we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
