Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
