Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When are your genitals available?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
