If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
