I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
