then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize