I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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