did you get engaged???
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize