I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
