small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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