My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Mom said you looked used
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize