my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize