Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
